March 31, 2016

Cheeseburger Seeds - 10 things you need to know

Cheeseburger Seeds - 10 things you need to know
  1. Our brilliant scientists came up with the idea of cheeseburger seeds.  The theory is most simply explained by imagining a very talented bee pollinating together various strains of wheat, tomato, lettuce, mustard, cucumber, and a cow.  
  2. These are non-GMO seeds - guaranteed not to have any genetic matter in them at all, in fact.  
  3. The Fast Food cultivar demonstrated was chosen because it grows rapidly.  Unfortunately, nutritional value and taste were somewhat compromised compared to the real food cultivar.
  4. The planter used is a unique, tiny, one-cheeseburger size prototype.   They grow so fast we were afraid to plant them in one of our full sized Garden Circles. 
  5. Of course the leaves look papery, it's a cheeseburger plant!  Everybody knows cheeseburgers come wrapped in paper.
  6. It took a lot of plant breeding to get the leaves to grow that nicely folded around the cheeseburger.  Early attempts often resulted in the cheeseburger barely wrapped, which did not keep them fresh and safe from pests.
  7. These seeds rely on the power of belief.  If it doesn't grow well for you, you obviously were not a real believer in the power of cheeseburgers.
  8. Individual results may vary.  If yours actually grows into a tasty cheeseburger, please let us know immediately so we can patent them!
  9. Yes, it is only an April Fool's joke.  Sorry for getting your hopes up and then dashing them against the cold hard rocks of reality.       
  10. We are pleased to announce that you, too, can now raise your friends' expectations and then have laugh.  You can order your very own Cheeseburger seeds right here.



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